Threatened!

Are you kidding me? I had a 6 year old threaten me over a DumDum lollipop.  the kid picked up a chair and he told me he was attacking me over a lollipop.  I told him in my nice teacher voice please put that chair down. He said no! I told him again please put your chair down.  What if I don't he asked.
I walked up to him in my most ARMY voice and told him he wouldn't remember what i did to him if he didn't put it down.
Funny thing the chair was back on the floor in a flash! Go ARMY.com!!

This whole holiday season thing is overrated.  Reindeer runs and holiday movies cut into my Art teaching time. Besides the kids are out of their minds waiting to have a week or two off.  Nobody is learning anything!!
I'm hoping to just relax a little.  Catch up on some sewing, painting, working out, and reading.
Well life as an art teacher is hilarious!!

Monday Madness

Well, I must be mad, yup out of my flipping mind.  I thought it would be fun to sing in the staff choir.
Yeah that's right me. I have only sung cadences along side of formations and that's only because everyone knows the words to those stupid things.
Hey, hey Captain jack meet me down by the railroad tracks with your suitcase in your hand I want to be a traveling man. hey hey all the way hey hey every day! Everybody now sing along!!
Okay well I'm singing twice tomorrow two songs not by myself of course, that would be torture for those listening to me. Just give me the strength to not choke of it.
The second thing is I have an observation tomorrow.  UGH!! It's fourth grade and it's plaster.  Yeah, messy!!! so, clean up is extremely important.  WOW! Monday was my favorite day of the week for teaching that and Thursday.  I hope it all goes well, oh and I'm changing the display Mondrian and the kindergarten!!! they are so cute.. and the majority of them came out awesome! pictures all around!!
check in tomorrow for the fall out.... hey hey meet me down by the art room rack!! with your paint in your hand I want to be a creative ma'am.

Refreshed

Well, the Thanksgiving weekend is just about over.  I find myself refreshed and ready for the next few weeks of teaching.  It's amazing what a little me time can do for a brain!
Didn't deal with the whole black friday chaos. Why bother anything I want is worth paying the discount price for besides, I really didn't think spending the day in jail would be that relaxing.  I hate the way people push and shove for an extra few dollars off.
I did stay home and sew for an entire day! I got quite a bit accomplished.  I even found time to workout.
I must get rededicated to the diet and fitness.  I don't want to fall prey to the 15 lbs that new teachers slack to their asses the first year.  UGH!! Thinking about going to a gym as well. UMMM I used to work out three times a day in the Army.  Never thought teaching would be more demanding then the military, physically, and emotionally.
Well, today we'll be venturing out to pick up a few things from the store, for the house not for us.  that can't be fun. Come home and chill out before facing the troops tomorrow although it is my favorite day of the work week.  Mellow Monday!!! here I come!

Freaky Friday!!!

So, I found out this week that I'm a terrifying teacher. Or at least that's what the flipping idiot in charge says.
Except that the child that I terrify hugs me. I'm confused!
I was told that the child's parent emailed him and said that her kid was terrified of me.  I'm shocked.
Considering the next class the kids kept telling me they loved me.  I love you like a rainbow ms. hunter, I love you like a heart, one little boy even said I love you just the way you are ms. hunter.  AWHWW!! too bad he's a future serial killer. not joking.
Then a parent came and told me her daughter absolutely loves my art lessons. I'm her favorite teacher.
I guess I'm a terrifying marshmallow!!
I've gotten the creepy crude.  I'm sick sick sick. I thought I wouldn't get sick.  I mean last year I almost died! this year I'm sick again. UGH!!!
All I can say is I'm so glad it's Friday.  It's almost the best day of my week!
Monday is my favorite cause of my schedule and Friday because it's the last day of the week.
Relaxing Rejuvenating and Restful.  AWESOME!!! it helps me get ready for the next week.
and next week is only two days of teaching!!!! Yahoo!!!! for me.

Love Monday!

I must be the only person in the world who loves Monday!!
I teach 2 classes of art on Mondays.  One in the morning and one in the afternoon.
Do you know how much stuff I get done on Mondays!! Yeah!
So, you have to be potty trained to attend Pre-k but not Kindergarten.
I found this out today when I smelled something god awful nasty seeping through this child's
clothing.  She pooped her britches and came that way to my class so I'm told my her teach.
That's just wrong!  The teacher knew and brought her to me the ART teacher knowing that she had pooped in her pants! WTF! Who does that?
I sent the kid to the nurse where she spent about 35 minutes of a 45 min class.  Really she missed art.
I found out that I still gag when it comes to kids shitty pants no matter what day of the week it is.
Gotta love monday!

Enjoying Conferences!

I have to say I'm loving this conference thing!! As a special for the students nobody really wants to talk to us about the kids and their progress in ART! Unless they get a crappy grade.  All the classroom teachers are having to talk to the parents of my daring artists, I on the other hand don't have to do shit!! I have 2 days of uninterrupted planning and working on future projects.
I'm going to get caught up on lesson plans and exemplars.  Thank goodness for parent teacher conferences.
Art is the best part of my day!! Oh yeah it is my day!! all day!!
Relax and doing art for two days oh yeah!

Observation!

It's the same every job you have.  The most nerve wrecking moment is when the boss shows up and decides to evaluate your performance. The only difference with the evaluation process as a teacher is you have 15-24 other little people who help to challenge you.
Today, I got observed while teaching the 1st grade.  Needless to say they were on their "best behavior" which is to say a continuos dialog of please raise your hand, no you may not wash your hands. please sit down, no you can't wash your hands, stop that PLEASE!! NO YOU CAN"T WASH YOUR HANDS!!
This phenomenon escapes my understanding. These little people keep their finger up their noses and then into their mouth, yet they can't stand to have glue or paint on their fingers. It's disgusting!!!
Me to littte person "Get your finger out your nose, ugh don't eat that!"
Little person " Well, you don't have any tissues what do you want me to do?"
Like it's my fault!? Are you kidding? then if that's not enough they try to grab your hand. AHAHAH!!
So, the observation ends and I'm thinking I could probably get a part time job at Joann's or Starbucks, cause this could not have gone well at all.
Good news I rock!!! I smoked my observation!! I did so well were we in the same classroom?
I'm not complaining, I'm so proud of me!!!

Here's what not to do

So, I don't know who thought it was a great idea to send 4 year kids to school all day.
Make them do art at the end of the day when they are totally exhausted.
Here's what you don't do:  You don't yell at the kid whose crying and holding their hand between their legs.  Why? Because they are pissing on the floor.
I would of never guessed that for a million dollars. The whole time I'm wondering why are  they crying. Until I realize that they just pissed on the same floor I'm standing on and now in.
I'm so shocked I yell what are you doing!!?? Stop that!! and then they run while peeing to the bathroom.
They kept trying to hold my hand.  OH HELL NO!!! you ain't touching me, you have pee on there I'm thinking.
I keep saying no no no!! All that water works needs to stop.
I couldn't even figure out how to call the custodian.  I'm thinking toxic, hazardous waste.
The custodian comes in with a mop and pail.  There's got to be some special cleaner cause I mean it's PISS.  Nope just regular stuff, no bleach or industrial strength detoxing cleaner.
AND then it hits me! OMG I have piss on my shoes!!!!! Oh yeah, what I wouldn't give for a port a potty right now.
So, what lesson did I learn?  Try not to scare the piss out of the children, and let the kid finish before you  move them to the bathroom. That way the clean up are is a lot smaller.
The best part of the lesson, I get to buy a new pair of shoes!!! Yeah me.  

OMG! How is it that men rule the world when the one I'm married to can't even decide on what type of shoes or pants he wants to buy. I find myself treating him like one of my students. Don't do that. Didn't I tell you to go try them on? What are you doing? It's insane. Every pair of shoes he picked were ugly!! At one point I told him he needed more art in his life add some damn color for christ sake! And honestly how many NY hats does a grown man with no hair really need? Black and white Red, Black and White and don't forget the dark blue and white. WHY!!!
And for all this trouble we came outside and found out we had a flat tire. It was a fun day at the mall. I'm going to go have a drink and try to get creative with some paper and glue for my mask workshop tomorrow. Can't wait and I'm out.

Trying to make a post

This is my first attempt at blogging.  Hopefully, I get it right.
I'm an retired Army NCO who thought it would be so awesome to become an elementary school art teacher.  WHAT!!!
Yeah from bullets to boogers!! both are deadly in their own way.
I'm have fun most of the time. Hopefully, it'll get easier next year.
Oh if I make it through the first year!
Well, off to create something in the art laboratory.
Maybe if I can figure it out I'll post a picture!!
Say it isn't so. the mechanic is becoming a techy.